It has been quite awhile since I have written. There is a reason. I have spent the last month or so doing a lot of observing and reflecting. Watching and learning how people operate (including myself) and reconciling if I am living out my truths and staying tethered to my purpose and passion. I have been taking in a lot of input and just haven't been able to translate it into output. About a month ago, I woke up to a message that stopped me in my tracks, literally. I was getting ready for work when I read a message that my friend, John Berray, was hospitalized and in critical condition. This information did not yet compute in my head, but I felt it in my heart. I got in my car for work that morning, made it out of my complex and turned right back around. I went back into my apartment, shut the door, prayed and cried. At that point, it was all I could do. As I spoke with a dear friend, many times that day about the situation, I kept thinking about interactions, messages and conversations I had with Berray over the last few years. My friend was lucky enough to have had a lasting, memorable phone conversation with him, just days before. But for me, I really struggled to remember specifics. And I felt guilt and sadness. But then, I switched my focus- because what I did remember was the essence of who Berray was. I wanted to write about him, but couldn't. All I could do at the time was write the two sentences at the top of this post. "Speak so others will listen. Listen so others will speak."
The outpouring of stories of impact has been no short of incredible, but not surprising. From students to colleagues to acquaintances and life long friends. No matter who wrote or spoke about him, they showed that Berray was the same caring, passionate, humble soul no matter the situation, no matter the interaction, no matter the space. And that is a true testament of character. And for that, it brings a smile.
Some have asked how close I was to Berray, and to me, I don't believe that is even a factor. I have only known him for about 3 years, and we interacted on and off throughout that time. But as I have read and heard the numerous stories, people have talked about the deep loss felt whether you only heard him speak as a presenter, had him as a teacher, only engaged in one conversation or knew him for a lifetime. Again, that speaks to his character and his legacy. How have I coped with this loss? Not too well, but I have thought about the characteristics that come to mind when I think of Berray: integrity, empathy, openness, passion and purpose. And then I try to live those every day. Because I know that if I can try to live the way he did, I am on the right track. My call to action is this: Reflect on your own legacy, while you can. How do you want to be remembered? What truths do you want to live? Then go out and live them, every day. And when you go off track (because reality is, we do) just do a check-in with yourself, pull yourself back and keep moving forward. Also, please remember, you DO have impact, you DO have reach. There is a ripple effect with every interaction and action. What do you want that to be?
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Mother, Teacher, Administrator, Presenter, GCE Level 1 & 2, Encourager of others.
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February 2023
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