This morning, my friend Tony Sinanis (Co-author of Hacking Leadership) asked via facebook and Twitter (paraphrased) "What three words resonate with you when you think of leadership." And I felt compelled to write. I used to be a "leadership nerd" in that I LOVED to read, talk, present, learn about all things "leadership". But it wasn't until I watched Tony's video that I realized the I had lost that in the last year. I really hadn't thought about leadership or myself in terms of being a leader, in a long time. And that is the first piece I would like to speak to. I have written many times "we are all leaders in our own right". But when push came to shove and I hit a bump, I didn't believe it for myself. I let my circumstances dictate how I felt about myself and who I believed myself to be. No more. Now that I have come out the other end, I believe my above statement now more than ever. In the last year, I witnessed my students, my own children, colleagues and friends - rise as leaders. These leadership roles were not given to them, there were no titles that opened up the doors for them. These roles were created, earned and maintained by these individuals. End of sentence. Maybe they filled a gap, a need. Maybe they followed their passions. All of them took risks and it has been amazing to watch. So whether you are a leader in your classroom, your site, your family, your church, your club, your friend group- YOU ARE A LEADER. How do I know? Regardless of whether you are aware or not, someone (maybe many someones) are watching and learning from you. YOU have a spark, YOU have something to share, YOU have the capacity to give. YOU are a leader. Ok, now back to Tony's "Three Word Challenge". This honestly was not a challenge to me as my three words came out instantly. Why? Because these words are who I try to be- 100 % of the time. These words are what I look for in those who lead me. These are the words I try to instill in those in which I lead. These are the words that I can see in others, very quickly. And here they are. Leadership in three words: Empathy, Integrity and Passion. Empathy: I have heard this word A LOT over the past few years. It is one of those words that may be coined a "buzz word" in education these days. But to me, it is everything. Empathy and sympathy can easily get confused. To me, empathy is the ability to see things from other perspectives and try to understand what others may be feeling. I read something interesting lately to the effect of this: It is impossible to be able to actually feel what someone else is feeling because we are not that person, going through that exact thing at that exact time. But what we CAN do is honor what someone else is feeling and understand the emotion by attaching it to a time when we felt that same emotion. For example, someone may be feeling devastated over losing their home. Although I have never lost my home, the way that they did, I have felt devastated over something. Empathy is understanding the emotion. Well how does this look in terms of leadership? You can not be a leader, if you look around and there is no one to lead. It is the people that surround you that matter. As a leader, one of our jobs is to know our people and grow our people. This can only happen if we honor our people. When we listen to a circle of viewpoints and everyone has a voice at the table. When we try to understand the felling behind it them. This is not always easy, but this is important. Integrity: To me, this one is a make it or break it word. Integrity is doing what you say and saying what you do. The quickest way to lose someone's trust- is to break it. People can quickly and easily see through the "Emperor's New Clothes" and that is not something that is easy to bounce back from. Basically, it is "walking the talk". Now I realize that in my first paragraph, I just spilled that I did NOT walk the talk in my definition of a leader, last year. I also believe that humility is part of integrity. Perfection is fiction, so let's not pretend it isn't. But when we stumble, we don't ignore it. We acknowledge it, we learn from it and I have seen the best leaders- publicly share both.
My call to action is this: Take some time to think about who you lead. Who is looking toward you for learning and guidance? What do they see? What do you want them to see? Come up with your three words and then go out and live them.
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February 2023
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