Ok. Here goes. This post has nothing to do with education, it has nothing to do with leadership. But it has to be written. This post is about me and a journey.
As of late, I feel as if I have been living in a snow globe. One that has been picked up a few times, turned upside down, shaken and then left on the shelf. My mind and my heart have been spinning and swirling from the shake ups. But it has to stop. It has to.
Yesterday, I realized something as I was walking around campuses...I seem to have lost something, actually a couple of things. I seem to have lost my smile and I seem to have lost my shine...and that is unacceptable. Because if I don't have those two things, I am just not me. One of my good friends calls me her "carbonated friend" because I am typically bubbly, positive and light. And I have lost that. But now I am taking it all back!
Author Glennon Doyle compares the rough spots in life to a sand sifter. When in struggle, we are forced to sift though everything and what is left at the top, is what is actually real. So I am in the process of sifting...and here is what I am left with. Here is what I have found to be true:
We can't control our circumstances and we can't control others. There is very little that we have control over. But what we can control is the most important: US. WE have the power to choose how we react and act. We have the ability to control our attitude and our gratitude. We choose what lens to live life through. When our snow globe gets shaken, it is only up to us, to decide how to pick up those pieces, once they land. I have chosen to try every day to find my way back to me...to find my smile, my shine and my carbonation. To continue to live my "why": To inspire and support others. To make school better for kids. To do this, I need to regroup, reassess and redo. To do this, I needed to sift, and here is what is left...
People show up. I have been amazed and humbled by the kindness and support of others. I'm not going to lie, it is difficult for me to lean on others, and I believe this is the first time that I actually have allowed myself, fully. When I sift through it all, what I have found is an amazing group of supports. Incredible people who have lifted me up, when I am down. Many are not even aware of their impact on me. I have received many texts, calls, messages and face to face conversations filled with amazing, humbling and path altering words. I have learned that sometimes we need others as much as we believe they need us, and for that, I am grateful.
We make an impact: This one is still hard for me to wrap my head around. We go through our lives, day to day, often just trying to survive. But what we often don't realize is that what we say and do has an effect on others, whether it is intentional or not. THAT is huge! What do you want your impact to be? A friend of mine and I used to talk about this concept of "Eulogy Virtues"...although a bit morbid, it often grounds me. What do you want to be remembered for when you are gone? What spot do you want to leave? For me, this is where I think about "Walking Your Why". As we go through our day to day, rarely do we actually find out what mark we are leaving...until we do. I have been blessed with many people sharing this with me, as of late. Sharing things that I never even realized were impactful, and I have been truly humbled. Thank goodness, they have been positive, but I'm sure there are some that aren't. But, what I am thankful for is the reminder to check myself...alot.
Find the learning. I have often said, that I try to take the learning from every situation and every interaction...and this is true. This is often what keeps me moving forward rather than down the rabbit hole. The last week or so, I found myself doing something and I didn't know why. At the end of every day, I created a quote and a graphic of my learning...and I shared it out. I doubt if anyone saw or read them, but I now realize why I did it. I did it for this very reason. I needed to record my learnings so that I could go back and reflect. What it has done, is it has caused me to pause, regroup and refocus. When I go back and look, they are pretty random, yet to me they are all intertwined. When we try to find the learning, at least for me, it puts a lot of things in perspective and it grows me. Here is what I have learned...
My call to action is this: We all have had our lives shaken and we will continue to. When this happens, take a moment to breathe and reflect. Allow yourself to see the good in others and in yourself. Look for the bright spots, reflect on your impact, find the learning and allow others in.
Mother, teacher, TOSA, GCE Level 1 & 2, Encourager of others.
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