I talk a lot about leading with an empathetic heart AND looking at the circle of viewpoints in a situation. I thought I had that down. I, apparently, was wrong. There have been a few recent incidents in which my actions or words were misinterpreted and there were consequences. I always, always have the best of intentions in everything I do. I try to think things through before I do them or say them. I try to look at how these things will effect others involved. I only have the truest of intentions...I know this. So when things I have done, actually turn out to cause something negative to someone else...it kills me. It literally breaks my heart. My heart breaks when something that I have done, is taken in as the exact opposite of my intention.
It is even harder, when I can't make amends. In some cases, I am still unsure if I am in the wrong, but does that matter? If it is received, perceived that way, I can only try to explain. Sometimes the person doesn't want to hear it. Or they hear it and they don't want to listen. Sometimes there is not an opportunity to discuss...things just are...they just need to be. So what do you do? You take responsibility. You own up to the fact that you didn't think things through completely. You learn, you grow and you change your behavior.
My purpose, I have written before, is to support others. THAT IS IT. It is not something I just say, it something that I whole heartedly believe and the code by which I live. But what happens sometimes is something that I believe is helpful, another might see as over-stepping. Something that I might believe is for the good of many, may be looked at as outside-stepping. Sharing something that I believe is a positive, may just be misconstrued as something different. In these instances, when these perceptions are brought to my attention, I wilt. I feel terrible that I have caused uneasiness in others.
But I have learned that life and people are unpredictable. We can not control other people's actions, we can not control other people's emotions, and we can not control other people's thoughts. There are so many layers that go into each of those, that makes them so unpredictable. So when I try to see things from the view points of others...I can only guess. My guess can only have roots in MY experiences, MY emotions and MY thoughts. So in essence, I guess there is no "circle of viewpoints" in which to consider. We are a complicated species.
This realization has thrown me for a loop. It has caused me to want to recoil, to be quiet and to be small. It has made me rethink everything I have thought. I have no way of knowing how something I say or do will affect someone else. So does intent really matter? I always thought it did. Be intentional...but what does that even mean?
So all I can do...is what I always do. Think...deeply. Reflect...deeply. And find the learning...find the growth.
All I can say to you (and in this, I am writing to myself)...just stay true to you...keep that focus on the good...continue on the positive path. There may be bumps and unexpected obstacles...but you can handle them and just keep on going. Be cognizant...extremely cognizant of those around you. Our actions and words matter.
Mother, teacher, TOSA, GCE Level 1 & 2, Encourager of others.
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