A few weeks ago, something caused me to recoil (as I do) and stop writing. A friend happened to be over when I made this rash and unrealistic decision. He saw how upset I was and in our discussion, I figured out that I was particularly upset at the idea of not writing. I found myself saying "To me, writing has become breathing.". I had not really, realized how much I have depended on this outlet. He was more upset at the reason I decided to shut myself down. I am a people pleaser, by nature (even though I proclaim to be "recovering") and I had displeased. You would think, at my age, I would have learned what my 19 year old son told my daughter the other day "You can't please everyone, so don't even try." Wise one - that kid of mine. So this following quote is one that I need to learn to embrace if I am going to put myself out there:
A few days later, that same friend asked me what the difference was in keeping my writing private and sharing it publicly. This was a great question and I thought awhile on it, as I do both kinds of writing. I flashed back to my first few blogs, when a friend's response to my writing was "You know, I could buy you a nice journal so you don't have to air everything out there.". I remember wanting to stop, right then and there. But I didn't...why? Because I write in the hopes that it could help ONE other. If ONE person is encouraged, nudged, thinking differently or wheels are turned, it is worth it! My friend, Daryl Myers, does an activity with his HS ELA students where they write "Why I..." I decided to write mine today. My call to action is this: Find your thing. Your breath. And do it. And do it loud. And do it proud. And use me as a cautionary tale - don't stop if it is part of you.
"Ain't nothin' gonna break-a my stride Nobody gonna slow me down, oh no I got to keep on movin' Ain't nothin' gonna break-a my stride I'm running and I won't touch ground Oh no, I got to keep on movin'" - Mathew Wilder
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I didn't realize that when I woke up this morning, I would be writing a blog post on this. In fact, I didn't even know what "The Butterfly Effect" was until last night (besides an Ashton Kutcher movie that looked too freaky for me to watch). But last night I was listening to a talk by Rachel Hollis in which she mentioned it. I have had this connection with butterflies for many different reasons, but when I heard this phenomena explained- I had to learn more. If you don't know, I will do my best to explain it, how I interpreted it. The Butterfly Effect is part of Chaos Theory (this seems like a theory I could really get into). In short : something that seems so minute, like the flutter of a butterfly's wings, will change the trajectory of events that follow. And my mind just went on overdrive! I have often said that it is the small moments that equal big gains. In these cases, I was talking about sharing positivity with others, to in turn, help others to be positive
But here is something I hadn't thought of, until I learned about the Butterfly Effect- there is a flip side to that coin. One negative will also be a catalyst for many moments that come after. But how, is up to us. On Friday, I read "Alexander and the Terrible, No Good, Very Bad Day."- little did I know that I would be connecting that to this. It is a great story that shows how small things can snowball and change us and our day. Often, we let that one negative open up the flood gates for more of the same. A chain reaction. The Butterfly Effect. Or at least I know that's my MO.
So what do we do with this? Well- I know what I am going to do. I am going to be more focused on what I put out to others. I want my wing flutter to be a positive one. I want to lighten a student's day. I want to brighten a colleague's perspective. I know that one negative from me, could change that person's day. I know that one negative action could be the negative icing on top of someone's already tough day. And I don't want that.
That seemingly flippant comment or sarcastic remark, may be perceived differently by the receiver. That look of frustration or a deep breath, may signal much more negative emotions to a child. That bright smile and eyes of hope may be what a teenager needed to turn his mind around. That authentic compliment may just be what that colleague needed to hear, to get through a tough day. My call to action: Be conscious of what you say and do. It matters. What may seem tiny in your eyes, may just mean the whole world to another. So what do you want your mark to be? What do you want your flutter to create? "Ms. Orlando...I don't think that it's fair for our class to be judged by how only a few of us in here behave." - 8 year old. Out of the mouths of babes comes hard truth. This was a comment during a discussion about our class being "talked to" about how they were lining up from recess. I have noticed these "sweeping remarks" and was shaken when it was shared that the students noticed, too. We have worked so incredibly hard to change the culture of our class, but I guess no one can see it or feel it - but us. It makes me sad because these kids have been transformed. Let me rewind, a bit. This is my first year back in the classroom after working at our district office for 4 years as a TOSA (teacher on special assignment). When I started the year, I was not prepared for the journey I was about to embark on. I have written and spoken a lot about #cultureovercurriculum and I believe the importance of this to be true. And looking back over the last 67 days- I can finally see the pay off-and it was worth my tears, heart break, frustration, sleepless nights, reflecting and planning - and the students' hard work and commitment to our class. These 28-3rd graders were strangers to me and I was a stranger to them. BUT, they were not strangers to each other. We are the only 3rd grade class on campus, so these students have all known each other for many years. Let's just say, this class is a fantastic mix of personalities, abilities and needs. And to be honest- it was a tough start. We had some honest discussion at the beginning of the year. I took this information and used it to inform how I approached this class. I knew that based on what they shared, they first and foremost needed to trust me. And why should they? They had never seen nor heard of me before. The second thing I knew to be true was, we needed to work on positive mindsets. To me- the two go hand in hand. So that is what I set out to do. I knew that we would be hard pressed to make any sense of content if those two things weren't in place. These students needed an environment where they knew, without a doubt, that they were cared for, believed in and safe. It hasn't been easy...but most important things aren't. But boy, has it been wort it. I decided to share based on a conversation I had with a new teacher on Friday. She was talking about a high school class that she taught a few years ago and how difficult it was. I found myself saying "No one can see it, but if you walk into my room today, it is the complete opposite of what it was the first few weeks of school." She asked me to share what I did. All I could say was "We have been working , on building them b up by focusing on the positive and trust." * We talk a lot in class about mutual respect, kindness toward others and honoring all of our differences. Maybe that is the key? WE talk. I don't believe that I really did that before. I'm not sure- I wish I could create some sort of manual to remind myself what worked and didn't, for the next round- but just like TEs don't teach kids- a manual will not support kids socially and emotionally. What worked today, may not work tomorrow. And how I approached one student is completely different from how I interact with another. But what I will try to do is chronicle our journey. I should have been doing this from the start- but I wasn't quite there yet. I will do my best to recall how we got to where we are now, in a series of blog posts. And don't get me wrong- we are NOT a perfect class, we are NOT a model class... we are a real, work in progress, growing together class. |
Mother, Teacher, Presenter, GCE Level 1 & 2, Encourager of others.
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