So if you know me at all, I am always encouraging others to step out of their comfort zone, lean into the discomfort...just jump. I call it "nudging", but they may call it "pushing". Well, you might also know that I am BIG on "walking the talk". So I wanted to share some of my personal stories in regards to the above. They are not all stories of the standard of "success", but I do share how I used them to stretch forward. I believe that by sharing our truths, we can help others. Last week was a big "stretch forward" week for me. It was my first time presenting for CUE at the first ever CUE BOLD. I went into this weekend, only knowing two people (HUGE leap for me to hang out with strangers for 2 days...big introvert anxiety), but man was it fantastic! More on that in the link below. The second big stretch was that I recorded my first podcast! When Brent Coley approached me to do this interview, my first thought was "HE** NO!". I can kind of write, but have a coherent conversation, that others will hear? NO WAY! BUT, I didn't say no...what I actually said was "That is WAY out of my comfort zone, but I need to do it because I can't ask others to risk, if I don't". The topic: Stretching out of our comfort zones!!! It was all about us sharing stories of stretching forward. The topic is what sparked this blog post. I expand more on the CUE BOLD story and others, listen here: brentcoley.com/podcast . We recorded last Thursday and it was such a wonderful experience! Now will I listen to it? I am usure-(I don't want to hear my own voice), but I am so glad I did it. I often talk about "switch flip" moments. A colleague asked me what that meant the other day. I explained it was the "aha" moment when something shifts in someone. Something triggered them to change something...a light switch was turned on. One of my big "switch flip" moments came as a result of reading Brene Brown's book Daring Greatly. The whole book was wrapped around this Teddy Roosevelt quote: In the book, Brene talks about the fact that she WANTS to be in that ring...all in. I realized that I wanted to as well. I started stepping out of my comfort zone, knowing full well that I will fall...but at least I made the move. Last year I started using that quote with others: "Dare Greatly". I even gave the Roosevelt quote along with a plaque that said "Dare Greatly...#take risks" to teachers in our district that I wanted to celebrate for stepping out of their comfort zone. I LOVED seeing others take risks and the big pay offs.
BUT do your words ever come back to bite you? Mine do ALL THE TIME, but I love that. I LOVE when people put me in check...especially when those words help me stretch. Last year I received my Administrative Credential, I didn't know what I was going to do with it, but I knew that I wanted to move forward. A principal position opened up in my district...hmmm. I was actually told that I wouldn't even make the paper screening. My first reaction...recoil. But then I started thinking...well, if I go into this knowing I have NO chance, then I know I am just going in for the experience. I was wavering back and forth. Do I put myself out there and make the people I work with every day, have to turn me down? How awkward will that be? I was texting with a friend about it and her response "Come on, Cori...take a risk, dare greatly!". Well...what could I say to my own words except "Ok...I will!". I turned in my paperwork and low and behold...I did make it through the paper screening. Again...I entered the interview knowing the absolute truth that this was ONLY for a learning and growing experience. Boy, was it! I did not get the job and I am actually glad that I didn't (a story for another time). But I WAS glad that I put myself out there. I stretched myself and I learned a lot! I took all that learning about myself and the organization and have used it as I proceeded forward this year. A few months later, I was messaging with a gentleman that I had met through Twitter. At one point, I asked him if I could interview him for a blog post on "innovation". He agreed to it, but only if we did it through Voxer. What the heck is he talking about? Well I learned it is a "walkie talkie" type app. This was NOT something that I wanted to do...I wanted to hide behind my keyboard to conduct this interview. I was on high introvert anxiety. Well, his words to me were "Cori, how can we discuss innovation if you won't be innovative in how we discuss it?". Dang it... he was right! So, I reluctantly opened an account and sat quiet. Next thing I know...someone else was invited to the "chat" and it was go time. I was introduced to the other gentleman and the ball was in my court. I had no other choice but to talk into this thing...EEK! THAT interview was never written up, but I had no way of knowing that those two gentleman would make such an impact on me! I am so thankful that Jon Corippo and David Culberhouse stretched me in that interview (and continue to do so, daily). These two stretch my thinking like I can't even believe and they encourage me to stretch myself like I never knew I could. They have changed me for the better, and I am so thankful that I took that initial leap! Whenever I even think of going into that recoil mode, I think of these two stories and many others. I realize where I would be if I took the easy, route...if I had stayed in my "comfy zone". I know that I would not be who or where I am in my life today. I now take leaps, know that I will stumble and fall, but also know that I will do so "daring greatly". I know that I will always come out with something positive as I reflect on the process, the learning and the journey and be better for it. So my call to action...just dare greatly. It could be something as small as me speaking into the Voxer app...which lead to unknown HUGE gains.
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I was sitting at a kindergarten NGSS training a few weeks ago and they were discussing the NGSS shifts. Their task was to write a "tweet" about a shift and share it with someone else. One teacher came up to me to show me the hashtag she wrote on hers-#shifthappens. Ever since then, that term has stuck with me. It has so many different meanings...I could write multiple posts, but I will start with one. I am in constant self reflection mode (not sure if this is a good or bad thing) so this post will be a reflection on the shifts in me. A few days ago, I made this image through #teacherstats and tweeted it out. I was actually quite surprised with the text that I wrote. I don't usually use the word "strong" when I think of myself, and never really thought about my shift in focus, until I wrote it.
Within the last year or so, my shift HAS really changed. I have started looking at education more globaly. Beyond my classroom, school site...even beyond our district. My main shift has become: "How can we create a better experience for our students?" I really want to be part of making this shift in education. Looking at the "350 Students" in that image just seems so small...I want to reach more. I believe: Classrooms need to be student centered. Students should be creating. Students need to be talking...to each other. Students need to be practicing meta cognition...out loud. Students should be given multiple entry AND exit points. All students' ideas need to be valued. Meet students where they are, not the other way around. Teach to the edges, there is no average. Students should be engaged and empowered in their learning. Student voice and choice should be prevalent in the classroom. Relationships matter, build that foundation. Create experiences that are relevant. Foster student passions. I don't need the "why", I already know that one. Students NEED and DESERVE it. My focus is on HOW can we create these shifts. Where do I fit into it? How can I (one person) affect a large change? I find myself asking the same questions again and again, hoping someone, somewhere will have the answer. How can we ensure that students are at the center of learning? How do we help others understand that teaching is not about us, it's about the students? How do we encourage others of the need for a shift? How do we deal with those who are digging in their heels? How do we build capacity in others to help lead the change? What do we do with our early adopters? How do we help others move past insecurities and take risks? I find myself having these conversations with some incredibly savvy educational leaders and it leads me to even more questions. But what I do find is that through these conversations, it creates more small shifts within me. I was never one to have strong opinions, and I NEVER shared my opinions if I had any. This has changed. I am finding my voice...because I believe we need to be "louder" if we want to be heard AND listened to. I have found my voice because I am passionate in doing right by our students. I always go back to this phrase that my friend, Jon Corippo shared with me a while back: "Use your megaphone for good." So I always try to do that. Whatever forum I am in, I try to help create positive shifts. Whether that is one on one, in front of a crowd, through Twitter, this blog space....I try to convey this message: We need to keep changing FOR and WITH our students. They NEED to be at the center, always." I don't know if I have made a dent...but I will keep trying, because our kids deserve it! I am sitting here, with a laundry list of other things that I should be doing, but I am compelled to write. I know that my mind will be of no use, unless I get this out. I wrote a piece earlier today to be published in an ebook. The topic was about "collaboration" and my piece was about "Finding YOUR People"...more specifically: Finding Your Tribe. I will share some of that piece in a minute, but the interesting thing is...right as I pushed submit on that piece, I received a message from one of my "tribe people". This message was an incredibly kind, supportive, wake up call to me. It was exactly what I needed, at that exact moment in time. Funny how that works. More on that in a bit.
Here is an excerpt from my story: #tribematters: This idea of finding your tribe, is new to me...but so transformative! It wasn’t until this last year, that I feel I have found my tribe people and have understood the impact. I describe a tribe as a group of YOUR people. These are the people that “get” you. They understand where you are coming from, where you want to go and help you to get there. They are there to listen when you need an ear, lift you when you are down, celebrate when there are wins and push you farther than you thought you could go. Your tribe members don’t necessarily need to be like minded people, but they are usually like hearted people...that is where the connection is made. I personally have been extremely blessed to have found my tribe! It is not large, but they are large in my life. It is made up of amazing, humble educational leaders who care. I would not have survived this last year without this crew! There have been many times of self doubt, pitfalls, frustration, small wins, big wins, naysaying, bullying, good times and bad...and they have seen me through them all. They have helped me to see things and believe things in myself, that I never knew. They put me in check when needed and they absolutely stretch me AND my thinking. I have come to rely on this amazing group of people for a lot. I just hope that I can give back in return. This should be a two way street and I often wonder if I am pulling my weight in these relationships. I often reflect and wonder how I can give back to them. I don’t feel I have much to give, besides my ear and my heart...both of those are always free and clear when/if they are needed...I hope they know that. And this is when I got today's kick in the a**! The thing that struck me, was that I easily and openly received the message...this is new to me. My usual MO is to quickly put up walls when hearing tough stuff, but this was different. Why? I think I have figured it out...intent. While I was listening, my eyes were tearing up and I really didn't know why. I now realize, it was because of the intent behind the words. This is a trusted person (which is tough for me in the first place) whom I have great respect for. This person was seeing the effect things were having on me, when I couldn't see it myself and stopped me in my tracks. The words and the intent were implicitly authentic AND real. I took them in and made the shift in my mind and my heart. I went through the rest of the day, functioning in a different way...looking at things through a different lens. THAT is what your tribe can do for you. I know this person does not even see the power of these words, so that is why I decided to write. I often say that words matter because they absolutely do! Something we say, can change someone else (good or bad). That 1 minute message created a shift...words are free and take up very little time. Let's use our megaphone for good. I am thankful every day for the amazing people that have entered into my life and often question how I got so lucky. If they are reading this, they know who they are because I thank them often, yet don't feel I can thank them enough. I urge you, find YOUR people and hold on to them. A few days ago, I wrote a post entitled "Forward". That is my #oneword2017 and I want to tell you...it ain't easy! It seems like a pretty simple concept...just keep moving...forward, but it is HARD. There are so many pitfalls, curve balls, walls, deterrents that can get in the way. But I believe that it is incredibly important to continue in that forward motion.
I have come up with some adjectives to help describe the traits that I believe one needs to keep on moving forward: F-Futurist: So I looked up the definition of this one. Here is what I found, futurists focus on "forcasting, imagining or creating the future". I think it is pretty clear, that we just CAN NOT forcast the future, because it is changing so rapidly. But for someone to keep moving forward, I believe that we must be able to imagine the future. This means we are always thinking ahead, and planning. We are not stuck in the past, nor the present, we have our eye on what is to come. I also believe we must create our future. We can't just wait for things to happen TO us. We need to see what is needed and we create that space, that opportunity, that THING to make it happen...always forward. O-Original: In order to keep that forward momentum, we need to be an original thinkers. We don't settle for "status quo". We see a need for change and work hard to make it happen. We need to be confident in being different, celebrate it...in fact. People may look at us funny, try to change us...but we have to stand firm. Being orgiginal does not mean that every action/idea IS original...this just means that we look at it through a different lens and iterate in our own way...always forward. R-Reflective: In order to move forward, we DO need to look back. We don't need to LIVE there, but we do need to acknowledge and understand. We need to take all that has happened before and find the learning. Both what TO do and what NOT to do...both are important. We need to keep these in our backpacks as we travel forward. We will need to refer back to them as we try to line up those forward dots. We will pull from them in times of dissonance and change..in times of success AND failure. They are what makes us who we are, it is what keeps us going...always forward. W-Wonderer: As we travel on that forward journey, we should always be questioning...always wondering. What if...Why not...How can we? These are like the journeyman's staff. They will help to keep us moving. When we think we can no longer move forward, we need dig in and question. Where are we, where do we want to be, how can we get there? Then take those steps to start finding those answers...always forward. A-Adaptive: Life is nothing if not complicated. It is ever changing and we must be chameleons to adapt with it. There is no reason to resist change, it will happen with or without us. We must reflect on our surroundings and quickly decide how to best move forward. We will have to change our thinking, our ideas, our actions...often. But never let it deter us, never let it turn us back...always forward. R-Resilient: Like I stated before, this journey forward isn't easy. There are times you will feel like you are in a sand pit, a tornado, quick sand, swimming against the current, falling down the rabbit hole. When this happens, we need to be resilient to keep going on. The way I do this, is I always use my purpose as my "north star". I focus back on why I am here and align my thoughts, ideas, actions with that. If I need to course correct...then so be it, but I can't let it stop me...always forward. D-Dreamer: I attribute this one to goal setting. If we are going to set goals, let's DREAM BIG! Imagine what it would be like once your goals are reached. Plan backwards TO move forwards. What are the steps to get you to where you want to go? What do you need to do to get there? Share your dreams, share your journey. Bring other dreamers along for the ride, traveling is always better together! Once your goal is reached...how can you stretch beyond?...always forward. Steve Wyborney inspired this post when he asked me what words I could come up with for the acronym "forward". I enlisted the help of my pal David Culberhouse to brainstorm some word ideas with me. These two AND many other amazing folks have helped me to continue on my journey...always forward. Lately, I have found myself saying a particular word, over and over again. This word seems to come up in a lot of my conversations. It has been paired with a few different words, but it is always there...always present within me. That word is FORWARD. This week, something registered with me. As I was explaining my bracelet (that has this one word on it), I remembered that my #ondeword2017 is FORWARD. Ha! Without me consciously doing so, I have continued to live it and try to help others live it as well. Why is forward so important? Because we CAN NOT afford to be stagnant. We CAN NOT afford to live in the past. We deserve to continue forward movement for ourselves and those around us. Here are some the "forward phrases" I have been using lately. I believe there is a definite order to these, there is a process to help us to move forward: Risk Forward: (@SteveWyborney)- When I read this phrase in The Writing On The Classroom Walls I fell in love with it! I am a huge proponent of taking risks. In order to start that forward movement, we need to start with risk. We need to not let fear be the driver in our lives, we must take that wheel and just DO. What is something that you have wanted to do...that you need to do...that you just haven't done? What is holding you back? What would happen if you just went for it? You will never know unless you just DO. You could fail or you could fly...in either instance, it's a win in my book because you took that first step to #riskforward. Stretch Forward: (@SteveWyborney)- My heart fluttered this week when I heard one of my colleagues say that she wanted to do something to stretch herself. It was music to my ears. She wanted to take that risk, to move out of her comfort zone, to go beyond. This is so important if we want to keep that forward momentum going. Take that rubber band of yours and stretch, go farther than you think you are willing to go. You don't need to stretch so far that it snaps, just far enough to create some tension, some dissonance. It won't be easy, it will no doubt be pretty uncomfortable, but I'm going to challenge you to get comfortable with the uncomfortable. Lean into that discomfort because that is where the growth happens. That #stretchforward is worth it! Fail Forward: One of my favorites! I have written and talked about this one for about a year now. This is not the notion that it's plainly ok to fail. That is not the goal of this one. There is a fail forward process.
Learn Forward/Grow Forward: I believe these two go hand and hand. If we are not learning, we are not growing. If we are not growing, we are not living. The world still needs us...our students still need us, so we are too young to die. Try to find the learning in every situation...whether it is a positive instance or a negative one, there is ALWAYS something to learn. With that learning, make sure to use it to grow yourself. Is it learning, if there is no growth afterwards? I'm unsure. Continue to feed your mind and your soul as you #learnforward and #growforward. Keep stretching to become someone, you never thought you could be, that best version of you.
Share Forward: (@PintoBeanz11): I absolutely believe that we are all better together. Why would we not share? Since I am a constant learner, I learn new things from everywhere and everyone. I am so excited when someone shares their learning, their growth, their story with me. It feeds me to risk, stretch, learn, grow, which then leads me to #shareforward and continue the cycle. Let's not hoard the great, let's pass it on so that others can move forward in their journey. Go Forward: This one encompasses all the rest. At the end of the day...just keep moving. Let's make sure that movement is forward. I wholeheartedly believe that it is important to look back, to #reflectback. But we CAN NOT live there. It is not healthy. We instead, should use those experiences as a springboard to jump forward. As hard as it is, look straight ahead. Our paths will all look different, our destinations as well, but that journey should always be a journey forward. #goforward This is one of two posts about "forward". What does it take to do the above? It is within all of us, we just need to discover and foster it: FOWARD... As you are driving, when you look back, using your side mirror, like the picture above, there is a warning "Objects are closer than they appear." This is an interesting concept when thinking about reflecting back on our life. Many say "don't look back.", but how can we not? The things that have happened in our life are "closer than they appear" because they are always there, whether we are conscious of it or not. Our past is what makes us who we are. It is never far away.
As I come to the close of my third year in my current position, it is time to reflect back on my time. It has been filled with many peaks and valleys. It has definitely stayed true to my blog site title: "Leading In Limbo". What lessons have I learned along the way? There are too many to list here today, and the learning continuous daily, hourly, constantly. So, for this post, I will replay my top 10 "Leadership Hits" that have helped stretch, shape and grow me forward. 1) Find the learning in everything: In leading, just like life, there are many ups and downs. Many wins and many falls. Regardless, it is important to always look for the lesson. This will help keep us in check...not let us get too high nor too low. What is our key purpose and how does everything tie in? In order to do this, one needs to be very reflective, often. When we work through this lens, it helps us stay in focus, stay in line. 2) Everyone is a leader: We are all leaders, we can't deny it. Many think that leadership comes with a title. I argue that. There are many with the title, that are not leaders and many leaders without the title. A leader is grown through action. A leader is one who champions for their people, who is in the trenches, who sees that spark in others and helps it shine. A leader creates a shared vision and a plan on how to reach it. A leader grows other leaders. They find the strengths in others and builds their capacity. "Talk" is very different than "Act". A true leader shouldn't have to tell, they just show. 3) Leadership is not a game of Solitaire: No one can lead alone...effectively. We have to include others. We need to have a team. Everyone has their own areas of strength, a well rounded leadership team is a much stronger force than an army of one. It is important to ask AND receive input from those in your charge. Do something with the input, show them that you HEARD and not just listened. Make sure to check those mirrors often. Look around, not only look behind you, but look next to you. If there is no one there, you are not truly leading. 4) You do you: Be authentic, no one can do it all and no one is perfect, so don't even try it. People can see through that. The leaders I gravitate to, are the ones that are real. They are great successes who share their paths of continued growth. They share their stories...their success stories, but even more powerful, they share their failure stories. When you are real, people will pull towards you. Part of being real, is being transparent. This doesn't mean you need to air your dirty laundry...it means say what you mean and mean what you say. That is the cornerstone of integrity and integrity goes a long way. Anyone can "talk the talk", but there needs to be action behind it. People will see through smoke and mirrors...eventually. 5) Newton's 3rd Law: This is a tough one. Since we are all leaders, we are always trying to do things to propel others forward. When doing this, I have learned that there is an equal AND opposite reaction. For the most part, people will stand behind you, stand with you. They will celebrate successes and grow with you. Unfortunately, there are the small few that will do the opposite. They will look at forward movement as a negative. They will try to hold you back...they will be the cloud to the light. They will nay say, roadblock, bully. This is when you need to choose to tune out the chatter and keep plowing forward if you believe in your purpose. This is when it is important to take stock in why you are doing what you are doing. Does the good for others out weigh the bad that is coming your way? In most cases, I would think yes. This is when you need to muster all of your strength and keep on moving...always forward. 6) Look behind the curtain: This was something I was not expecting. There is a "curtain". My Pollyanna brain was not prepared for this. Things are not always what they seem. At first, I really struggled with this. But once I decided that this was a real thing, I decided to use it for good. It is important to learn all sides of the things around you. We need to know the good, the bad and the ugly of what we are working with. We need to be informed, so we can make the best decisions. We may not agree, or even like what we see, or what we have learned, but it is important. We need to keep our eyes open and just learn. Use what we learn to guide us in our decisions, communications, our actions AND our non-actions. 7) Play to your strengths, hone your weakness: It is incredibly important to know ourselves. We need to know what we can bring to the table and what we can't. It doesn't do anyone any good to pretend. A good place to learn about yourself, is the Gallop Strengths Finder 2.0 It is pretty spot on in finding strengths. Once you know your strengths, it is important to know your weaknesses. In doing this, it is also important to find those who can fill in those gaps. Find others whose strengths match your weaknesses and observe and learn. Have humility and ask for help, ask to learn, team up. I have learned so much in working with others these past three years. I have gained much knowledge, not only in learning how to hone my weaknesses, but also my strengths. We just have to be open. We are all better together, let's work together and help each other stretch forward. 8) Find your tribe: This one is KEY. It wasn't until this last year that I found my tribe AND realized the importance. Your tribe is made up of people who will not only support you, but who will push you and stretch you. They are there to listen when your are down, and they are there to build you back up when you have broken. They are also there to help you grow beyond where you ever thought you could grow. They will challenge your thinking, your perspective...they will move you forward. BUT it is important that you do the same for them It can't be a one way street, you may think you have little to give...but everyone has something, so give big. 9) Lead with empathy: This one is a big one for me. I try to be empathetic in everything I do. Now it is important to recognize the difference between sympathy and empathy. Sympathy is 'feeling sorry for someone"...empathy is "feeling like someone". It is being able to put yourself in someone else's shoes. To think from their point of view. This is important because as a leader, we need to know who we are leading. We need to always take them into consideration when making decisions or planning actions. How will this affect others, no matter their "level"? This is not a guessing game, this comes from building authentic relationships, observing, ansking and listening. It takes time, but it is time must be spent. 10) Take stock...often: Reflect...a lot. Where are you, where were you, where are you going? What works, what doesn't work. What did you learn and how will you apply it? How can you use things that have happened to help others in their journey of growth? Share forward. Well, those are just my musings as I reflect on the last three years. I have spent those three years trying to deny that I was any sort of "leader"...because I don't have a fancy title. But, I guess I have always been a leader, in some way or another, just like YOU. No matter your role, title, perception...look behind you and next to you...check those mirrors...there are people there...there are people that you help, that you guide...YOU ARE A LEADER! Own it! Lead Forward!!! Anyone that knows me, knows that I have a quote issue. I LOVE quotes!! What I do with said quotes, is I repeat them...again...and again...and again...until they become my "catch phrases". These are phrases that I annoyingly repeat in hopes to help myself and/or others in their path of growth. That is at the heart of everything I do. Last school year, one of my catch phrases was: #takerisks. I said it all the time, I wrote about it often. I created plaques with the saying on it that I gave out to educators in our district to celebrate their risk taking. But most of all, it forced me to take risks. One of this school year's catch prases is: #failforward. I say it sometimes, wrote about it a bit and hear others say it from time to time. We now have stickers and t-shirts with the phrase #failforward. I often get tagged in tweets that refer to failing. I love it! Cori = failure. But, hey I will take it if it is helping others to take a leap. Currently I am reading my new favorite book: The Writing On the Classroom Wall (#TWOTCW) by: Steve Wynborney. I have fallen in love with everything he is saying. So many of his "Big Ideas" resonated with me. In writing about his "Big Idea 14 : Expect Much of Yourself" he brought up the phrase: risk forward! OH MY GOSH...the words jumped out at me. He just put my two catchphrases together: #riskforward. He and his words have inspired this post, today.
I have heard people speak from their hearts, knowing what they want and should do, but their heads get in the way. They are scared to just take that ONE step. Afraid of the outcome, of failing, of not being good enough, of not being perfect, of what others may think...say. But it is that one step, that is a step toward growth, it could be that one step towards amazing. I encourage people all the time to just #riskforward. Just do it...go for it. Don't be afraid to push buttons, push boundaries, push out of that comfort zone. Let's see what happens. It could go great or it could fail miserably...either way...you are moving., Anyone that knows me also knows that I am BIG on integrity. To me this is: actions = talk and talk = actions. So I am forced to "walk the talk". I can not in good faith, encourage people to #takrisks or #failforward, if I am not willing to do so myself. Knowing this, has helped me in my journey of growth. When MY head is trying to hold me back, I remember to just go for it. I have done a lot of this lately. Does it always end up great...nope. In fact, it usually doesn't. BUT that is where the learning and growth occurs. We do not grow when things come easy, why would we need to? It is during the struggle, where we become who we were meant to be. In #TWOTCW Steve writes: You need to be "paying attention to your growth and watching what happens to your strengths as you permit yourself to question, to struggle, to succeed, to fail and to reflect. With every experience we can all grow as learners, especially if we are hungry to recognize the impact of those experiences." Growth isn't easy...there are growing pains...but if we can push through that pain and reflect and look for the learning, we grow forward. For me, some of my #riskforward moments have been rough, even heart breaking at times. There have been many tough conversations and truths uncovered. But I always try to say "What could I have done differently, I want to learn and grow." So even through tears, I speak those words, out loud and I am being completely honest. How can one grow, if they don't understand? It's in these raw moments, I feel, we are most open for change. BUT we have to put our necks out there and risk...in order to move forward. We need to #riskforward not only for ourselves but for those that are in our circle of influence, whom ever they may be. We need to show them the best versions of ourselves AND encourage/model risking forward for them. So my call to action is for not only myself, but for everyone reading. When you are at a crossroads, take that leap...try that "other road" and #riskforward. So...whether we like to talk about it or not, we all have an ego...it is part of us. It is that part of us that gives us a personal identity. It is our self-esteem, self-importance, self-worth, self-respect, self-image and self confidence. Essentially, it is who we are. I believe that it is actually what we choose to do with that ego, that really makes us who we are. I have been a part of many conversations and many observations where I see ego is the driving force of either action or non action. I feel it is at the root of a lot of what is stopping us from being our greatest selves and doing great things. OR it causes us to do things that hinder others from being their best selves. In this sense, EGO = Edging Greatness Out. Here is my take. Ego and fear go hand and hand. Ego feeds fear and fear in turn, feeds ego. It is a sick cycle that will never stop, unless we consciously make the effort. From my vantage point, I see that ego has two sides that seem polar opposites, yet both are grounded in and conclude with fear and insecurity. *I know I am not using the correct Psychological terms here, even though that was my Undergrad. I'm secure with that :)... Inflated Ego: This is the one most people think of when one talks about Ego. Someone is "egotistical". They appear to think they are better than others. That they deserve better, people should treat them better, they do not have to follow the same rules as others. They are right and everyone else is wrong. They feel that they are on a higher level, and others should bow down accordingly. These people might belittle others, throw up road blocks, bully, insult, sabotage others so they can feed that ego and "stay on top". They put shadows over other's light, try to steal their thunder by diminishing their actions and/or ideas. But let's really think about this...where does this egotistical behavior come from? My belief is that it stems from a fear- "I am not good enough". Are these people overcompensating for their own insecurity? Do they feel the need to push others down, to lift themselves up? When I look at it from this lens, I am saddened. I am sad that people feel this way. That they project their issues on others...without even realizing the damage it might be causing. Deflated Ego: These are the people that want to make themselves small and quiet. They act in the opposite way than the above. They try to "blend in", not make waves, hide. They believe that they offer no added value. In fact, I may argue that they feel THEY have little value, worth. They hold the same belief as above "I'm not good enough". But, they internalize their fear and insecurities. They try to stay in the shadows, hide their light and diminish their own shine. They blame themselves for any thing that goes awry, even if they have no control or part in it. They beat themselves up. They are the perfect prey for those with that inflated ego. I am sad that people feel this way. They are causing themselves much damage, without even realizing it. Regardless of which ego is in the drivers seat, it stops people in their tracks. I feel that a lot of reasons people don't want to change, is because of ego. They either don't believe they need to change, or they can't change. They are afraid of failing, falling, not recovering. OR they have a fear of flying, succeeding, or the pressure to do more. It holds them back from new, from different, from innovation. Imagine how much good...how much great, the world is missing out on because of ego. Because of fear. Because of insecurity. Imagine what would happen if we vowed to leave our egos at the door! Take that step, that leap...try that thing, connect with that person, open up that world...that mind. Build each other up, lean on one another, join forces. What it comes down to, is purpose. Are we here to self serve or service others? If it is the latter, we need to keep that as our focal point...move past that ego, for the greater good. Let's NOT let EGO mean "Edging Greatness Out", we can't, we need YOUR greatness. Let it shine through.
A few weeks ago, I had the pleasure of going to National CUE in Palm Springs. I wasn't supposed to be there, I hadn't registered nor had a place to stay. But the Friday before the event, a wonderful person handed me a free registration! *These things don't usually happen to me, so doubt set in... Could I possibly make this work? I called the CUE offices and low and behold, they granted me registration (even though I missed the due date on the certificate). All I had to do was go to the "Special Circumstances" booth. PERFECT! I just had to chuckle, because I feel that describes me, to a T...special circumstance. Let me give you some background of two other instances that come to mind... In high school, I unwillingly tried out for the cheer-leading squad. I only did it because that was what my friends were doing-you know how that goes. Well...they all made the team...but me. Disappointing, but not devastating. Two nights after I received the "rejection" call, I received an unexpected call from the coach. Turned out that one of the other girls was moving and I was "runner up". So I happily joined the team that year. But in the back of my mind, I always had this idea that I was never really supposed to be there. I quieted that voice and just enjoyed the experience. It helped shape who I am today. Fast forward some years and it is time to apply for college. There was only one school I applied to, one school I had always wanted to go to: UCLA. That one school, sent me my one "rejection" letter. Extremely disappointing AND devastating. I didn't fit in the mold that they were looking for...on paper. BUT...I didn't let that deter me. I learned about a "repeal" process. It was a long shot, but this was my dream, right? It was a very involved process...but in the end...they "let" me in. I was a BRUIN! But in the back of my mind, I always felt like I wasn't really supposed to be there. I quieted that voice and enjoyed the experience. It helped shape who I am today. There are a few more similar "special circumstances", but when I reflect on these I think about-what if I hadn't been given those "special" chances? Who would I be, today? What if I hadn't persisted? What if I would've listened to that voice? What if I had just let those doors close? Where would I be today? Why am I sharing this with you? Because I believe our stories have power. I look back at those things and can now take the learning and hopefully share it forward. 1) Know your goal. Know your purpose. Keep your eye on that prize. There may be road blocks, falls, blips and bumps along the way. But keep moving towards that goal. Persist, persevere. Look for those "special circumstances" where you can show what you are made of, what you can bring to the table. Believe in your value and show it to others. 2) Don't close the door on others. Just because someone doesn't "fit the mold" of what you are looking for, don't miss an opportunity. Do we just want someone who meets criteria on a check off list? I hope not. We are not made out of paper, so paper shouldn't guide who we are. Let's look at others through an open lens. Be open to their potential, their passion, their adaptability and willingness to grow and learn. We don't want a missed opportunity because we weren't willing to open up our minds. 3) Find that "special" in everyone. Whether is is your students, your colleagues, your staff, your friends, your family or a stranger. Everyone has something special and amazing within them. Sometimes it shines, but often times it is buried deep. We need to find that "spark", show others their "spark" and fan it to help it grow. I have been lucky to have a few people that have done that for me. It helped shape who I am today. 4) Don't listen to that "critic" voice in your head that "I don't belong here" or "I'm not good enough". YOU DO and YOU ARE! It takes incredible strength to tune those out, but it is worth it. Surround yourself with others that see that "special" and can help lift you up. That voice can hold us and others back from a lot of great. You will be surprised at how strong you are and how much stronger you will become-just tune that out.
I know it is cliche' and "Barney-esk" and very "Pollyanna" of me to say- "YOU ARE SPECIAL", but it is true. You are uniquely you and you need to share that with others. Once you can do that, you need to be that "lighthouse" person for others...pay it forward. Look for those "special circumstances" around and within others.
*This is a "buddy blog" written with my friend Tara Martin for #IMMOOC week 4. Check out her blog: R.E.A.L* What determines an organization's success? As Todd Whitaker once said, “It’s people, not programs. Programs are never the problem and are never the solution.” It is the people; it has always been the people. Sometimes we choose the people; sometimes they are chosen for us. Regardless, we are tasked with creating a collaborative team and culture to promote forward movement of the organization. Therefore, we must take stock in OUR people. Get to know them...really know them. What are their passions, what are their strengths? This is important. George Couros writes: “...everything you need may already exist within your organization. Your job is to unleash talents of your staff members.” I (Cori) liken this to the quote from Wizard of Oz. “Everything you were looking for was right there with you all along.” We shouldn’t be looking outside for the answer, but within our team. Everyone has their own strengths; we need to harness and grow that. How can we play off of each other’s strengths and support each other’s weaknesses? A great place to start is the Gallup Strengthsfinder. Both Tara and I have gone through the survey and will be discussing our results and how we implement them in our daily practice as educational leaders. Finding StrengthsGeorge Couros says, “We cannot forgo a focus on our strengths for the sake of only emphasizing the areas where we struggle.” I (Tara) couldn’t agree more. When “educators overcompensate in the areas that need to be fixed, the “great things that were already happening are quickly forgotten.” A few years ago, in grad school, I read Now Discover Your Strengths by Marcus Buckingham and Donald Clifton. Within the book is a secret code to take the StrengthsFinder and determine the top five strengths. After receiving my results, of learner, focus, strategic, restorative, and achiever, I began to study what each of these natural-born talents implies and how I might use them to become a stronger educator. Side note: The StrengthsFinder is based on a general model of positive psychology. It captures personal motivation, interpersonal skills, self-presentation and learning styles. The idea behind the test is to determine your strongest synapse connections in your brain--also known as your talents. Tara’s Puzzle Piece What’s my piece of the puzzle? For the sake of this buddy blog, I would like to highlight two of my strengths and how I use them as an educational leader. The first one might as well be next to my name on my birth certificate--learner. Honestly, I’m thankful for this “carefully forged synaptic connection” within my brain! Learner is to educator as peanut butter is to jelly. Bad analogy, but you get the point. The Innovator’s Mindset has taught me that being a learner is great, but it’s what you do with that knowledge that’s empowering. While I’m always learning and growing, I strive to practice what I preach. Before asking an educator to try something new, I make certain to dive in head first. For example, a few “new to me” learning outcomes are my website, #BookSnaps, speaking in front of a large crowd, blogging, keynoting, and vlogging. Even when suggesting a new teaching strategy, I’ll ask the classroom teacher, “Do you mind if I come out and try this with your students? I want to know what it feels like in real-time--with REAL kids.” Being a learner is more than retaining new knowledge, it’s doing, sharing, innovating and knowing you will NEVER reach a plateau--all while stretching others to step out of their comfort zone and try something new, too. When restorative showed up as one of my top five “talents” or strengths, I couldn’t help but wonder, “Really? In what ways do I restore?” However, the more I studied it, the more I found it intriguing. As explained by Marcus Buckingham, “You enjoy bringing things back to life.” You “identify the undermining factor(s), eradicate them and restore something to its true glory.” That certainly describes how my mind works. In fact, in the education world, I enjoy searching for the hidden talents of students and educators. I love learning about their passions while collaborating with them and helping them take what seems to be broken and turn it into something full of purpose. Maybe this strength comes from growing up in a less than stellar home life and learning to see a tiny light of positive in a very dark place? However, many times it’s merely shifting the focus off their weaknesses and playing to their strengths. My role is to empower others to stop “living a second rate version of someone else’s life” and begin living “a world class version of their own.” (Buckingham and Clifton) In the Innovator’s Mindset, George Couros says, “By focusing on strengths first and building from there, as opposed to working from a deficit model that focuses only on where we need improvements, we create an environment where people feel they have a purpose…” I’m thankful for my strong synaptic connections--my talents. Once I learned them, I use them to my advantage in my everyday life. However, it’s not all about me--it’s all about finding others’ strengths and creating ways for them to feel this same excitement--doing what they love. Cori’s Piece of the PuzzleI took the Gallup Strengths find a few years ago, and was not surprised with the results. My strengths are (in order): Empathy, Achiever, Ideation, Relator, Connectedness. Like Tara, I was not surprised by my top “strength”-Empathy. Anyone that knows me or has read anything I have written, knows that Empathy is kinda my “thang .”The Gallup Strengthsfinder states: “ People with strong Empathy talents can sense the emotions of those around them .They can feel what others are feeling as though the emotions were their own. They intuitively see the world through others’ eyes and share their perspectives.” That pretty much sums me up. I like to call this “reading the room.” How does this play out in an educational leadership role? I believe, to create change, to move people and an organization forward, we need to KNOW our people. We need to understand their point of view AND take it into consideration. It is important to look at things from a circle of viewpoints to make the best decision for all. This is the piece that I feel I can bring to the table. I try to use this “power” for good and help others to view things from multiple perspectives. I am often called a “Pollyanna” because of this, but I will take it, as long as it is helping others to grow in their journey. I also believe that my empathy has helped me to create authentic relationships and build trust with the people I work with and support. These relationships are the foundation that is needed to help others to collaborate and grow. People will not let their guard down, open up to share or receive help without this important piece. I truly care about all the people I work with, and I hope that comes across in my interactions. This idea of relationship building leads right into my next “strength”... For this post, I have decided to also discuss the last strength on my list, because it is one that I feel incredibly passionate about- Connectedness. According to Gallup: “People strong in the Connectedness theme build bridges between people and groups, showing them how to relate to and rely on each other. They help others find meaning in the unpredictability of the world around them, providing a sense of comfort and stability in the face of uncertainty.” This just so happens to be one of my professional goals, connecting people. I believe that we NEED others; we really do. I work hard to create time, space and opportunities to bring good people together (in person and/or virtually). I know so many talented, passionate, amazing people; each with their own unique strengths. I love when I can bring some of them together wrapped around common ideas/interests. I just smile when I can say- “Oh, you should talk to___ they are also doing ____.” I try really hard to connect people across sites, grade levels, subject areas, districts, cities and even states. This cross-collaboration is so important, and I have witnessed amazing things stem from it. The second half of the “connectedness” definition talks about helping others find the meaning in unpredictability. Well, I am always trying to connect the dots for myself, and freely share my stories in the hopes to help others. When someone comes to me, struggling; I try to comfort them, assure them that they are not alone, help them remember their purpose, unstick the stuck and keep moving them forward. My hope is that people do feel a sense of comfort when we connect. It is always nice to have someone to listen, hear and understand. My hope is that I can be that for others. “Build Each Other Up To Build Something Better”-George Couros |
Mother, Teacher, Administrator, Presenter, GCE Level 1 & 2, Encourager of others.
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February 2023
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