Thanksgiving 2017 - I remember exactly where I was and exactly what I was doing on this day, just one year ago. I know where I was emotionally, intellectually and physically. And none of it was pretty. None. But guess what folks? Live isn't pretty. Life is messy. Life is complicated and complex. Life has plot twists. Disappointments. Frustrations. Heart break. Heart ache. Triumphs. Successes. Celebrations. But most importantly, it has blessings. Today should not be the only day that we reflect and count those blessings, to tell others that we are thankful for them. We should be doing it...every...damn...day.
For me, this last year has not been an easy one. There was a lot of transition, a lot of change. Some were of my choice and some were not so much. In the last year, I had to adjust to a whole new life. New family circumstances, new living situation, new job, new job environment, new financial and day to day responsibilities. Basically, a whole new life- and that messed with my head and it messed with my heart. Why am I sharing this? Because we all go through our shi*...we are all going through our shi*- because that is what we must do to learn, grow and live. We go through it.
About a month ago, I was out to dinner and someone looked at me and said "Cori, you don't seem your usual happy self and that makes me sad. I always count on you to my my positive person." It was that last sentence that had me spinning. At that moment, I couldn't be anyone's anything. I couldn't shoulder that responsibility. I had to make a choice - was I going to be a "positive, happy go lucky impostor" or was I going to be me? I always have to be me- you always have to be you. It's just too difficult to be anyone else. Authenticity matters, but authenticity is hard. I think some people just don't know what to do with it.
I have been blessed with people in my life. All the people. The ones that show up. The ones that support. The ones that leave and the ones that stay. The ones that frustrate me. The ones I frustrate. The ones that push me. The ones that swerve in and out and the ones who are a steady presence. The ones who challenge me, the ones who hurt me, the ones who love me and the ones who care about me. They are ALL a blessing. And for them, on this Thanksgiving- I say "THANKS".
I am also thankful for the painful bumps. Glennon Doyle says "Pain is a traveling professor." and that is how I try to look at it. What is the learning that I can take from this situation? How can I use this to become stronger, healthier, smarter, more empathetic, sympathetic? How can I use what I have learned to help others in their path? Can I?
When really I look back, focus and reflect- I really do see the good, the positive, the blessings. There is so much tragedy and heartbreak around us- more so now than ever, especially locally. My little "growing pains" are nothing. So it's time to flip the switch- move from a deficit model of thinking to an abundance model. What DO I have? I have a roof over my head, I have a job, I have my health, I have my family (including two INCREDIBLE kids), I have my friends and I have the resources to put food on the table and provide for my little family of three, the best I can.
My call to action is this:
Reflect and be thankful today and every day. Look for the bright spots, sometimes they are hidden- but they are there. Share your thanks for others- they need to hear it, and you need to say it.
Happy Thanksgiving, All!