Two weeks ago, I interviewed for a job that I would have loved. One where I could use my skills and my passions to support others. I loved the people, I loved the vision and I actually got my hopes up that this could be IT. But then, it wasn't. They moved two on to the second interviews, and I was number three. This seems to be the story of my life. "Always a "bridesmaid" never a bride.". Because of this, I went on a brief trip down the rabbit hole. When I dug myself out, I had to decide if I was going to attend a conference for which I was not presenting NOR was I even registered. My gut instinct was to just stay home - I didn't want to be around people, people didn't need to be around me. I honestly hadn't decided to go until about an hour before I hopped in the car. I went with the intent to just stay to myself and learn from others. The reality finally set in that I was going back into the classroom, and I decided to be a learner with that lens. Well... here is the reflection I wrote upon my return... Yes - I am now armed with some amazing activities and ideas to use with students and adults, but there was so much more. I realized that I was meant to crash this party, there was a reason that I was there. And I didn't realize it until I had time on the beach to reflect. And I just can't shake it... I believe that there were two reasons that I ended up where I was: 1) To be a support to someone that I had yet to know. 2) To meet someone who I had unknowingly supported. These two instances still have my mind spinning as I think about the impact we all have. We go though life, just doing the best we can, and may not even realize that what we do, who we are, how we are - affects others. I talk about this "ripple effect" that occurs, that we will probably never even know the lives in which we touch. I see this in others, I share their reach and impact with them- but I never think about it for myself. Why? Because to me that seems selfish- but is it? This is one of my biggest struggles. When I reflect -it is about me- in my mind - focusing on me is selfish. But if we aren't reflecting and assessing ourselves, how can we grow and support others? I will just leave that one out there, as I don't have the answer. So upon that above reflection, I am also coming to terms with the fact that the path that I wanted to be on, is not the one that I am meant to be on. I had no intention, no plans, no idea that I would be heading back into the classroom. Because this was not even on my radar, not even in my scope- it has been a difficult few months of transition. I'm not going to lie, there has been plenty of denial. Many have offered words of comfort, shared their own stories of paths detoured and reassurances that this bend in the road was for a reason. I have to believe in that. Just like I now believe I was meant to roll into that conference this week- I have to believe that I am exactly where I am meant to be. Many have said that there are 30 (or whatever number I get) students who need ME. They share, that is the reason I am being placed in front of them. But then, by wise friend, Jon Eick said this to me, and it rocked my world: "I don't believe that you are being placed there because 30 kids need you. Most of those kids would be just fine without you. But I believe that there is ONE kid that needs you. You are there for THAT kid" And with that, through my tears- it clicked. I need to get over myself. I need to get out of myself. I need to get refocused on my purpose. I am not in any of this for me-- that no matter my job -- my work is always the same- it is my "why"- I wrote it out 5 years ago and it still holds true today "One who inspires and encourages others". I have to stay true to that, no matter if I'm working with adults or children- that is my mission. I was talking to my friend, Brandon Blom, as I was working though this and he quoted something back that I didn't even realize I said...but I need to keep this quote somewhere that I can see it, daily: So time for me to "suck it up, buttercup" and put all of my focus and energy into being that for my students- being that for my colleagues, my friends and strangers alike. It doesn't matter the platform, the "stage"- it is about others.
So my call to action is this: As we move into the new school year- find your purpose, find your why. Reflect often and reflect hard. Always come back to it and realign, readjust- but stay true to you.
4 Comments
Lorri Tamberi
8/4/2018 11:31:00 am
This spoke right to my core, and is exactly what I need to have the courage to get through this coming school year. I am printing this out and keeping it by my desk calendar to read as often as necessary. Thank You for such insight and your ability to express it so clearly.
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Cori
8/4/2018 11:42:46 am
Thank YOU for being part of the inspiration for that post! Rock this school year!! ❤️
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Kris
8/4/2018 12:55:34 pm
Thank you for having the courage to share your thoughts and experiences through your blog. Change is difficult, but I have always found that I have grown the most from those difficult times. Wishing you all the best with your kiddos this year!
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Heather Marshall
8/4/2018 01:58:12 pm
Cori, I’m so glad you got in the car. I want to say that you can’t imagine the impact of what it meant for me-but I think you do. I hope it’s not the last time. It was a game changer for me and you were exactly what I needed. I’ll always consider you a friend and if you’re ever crashing PD in the Bay Area, you’ll always have a place to crash as well.
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Mother, Teacher, Presenter, GCE Level 1 & 2, Encourager of others.
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